My name is Gabrielle Valentine. I'm a mother, house cleaner and wife. In that order. My poor husband gets the leftovers. And yet...he's still here.

I need to check out occasionally, hence the blog. Being a mom is hard work. Mad props if you have more than two kids. You're hella fly!

I don't like camping, cooking, or cleaning, and I don't own a scrapbook.

I'm currently pondering theology.  I believe in free agency, universal health care, energy efficiency, anti-war. I'm not a Harvard Political major but I might share my opinions nonetheless. I may not be uber-eloquent because I usually have two toddlers hanging on me when I type.

I've been sober now 6 years. Good times....and bad. I went through two awful relationships before meeting my husband. Had he not "saved" me, I'd most likely be dead, based on the people I was hanging around with during those times.

I hold two full time jobs from home that I don't get paid for thanks to Mr. Valentine. I get kicked, spit up on and screamed at all day. I feel a tad bit crazy. I often do it alone, without any help from family or friends. Mr. Valentine is usually working long hours as he finishes his last year of college.

My husband is a Fine Ass Republican or FAR. We have mad love for each other. Meaning we're usually mad at each other, but we know we're in it together and still love each other.  He's very romantic and a fabulous chef.  He works really hard to provide for us.  We are so fortunate to have him in our lives. 

I love not cooking. It's way too complicated in my opinion. But we need to eat, so I've decided to embrace this whole domesticity thing and learn how to cook. For the kids and all.

During the Great Recession of 2008, I needed an emergency gallbladder surgery.  It cost $50,000.  Money was already tight, and I'd recently become a stay at home mom.  After a major budget overhaul, and a lot of humble thoughts and prayers, we foreclosed on our home, filed bankruptcy and moved to a rental house in the ghetto. And I mean, GHETTO.

After we moved into the rental house, it burned down in the middle of the night.  It was uber-scary and we are lucky to be alive.  We now live on the same block as several Inlaws.  The drama is INSANE. 

I've felt more emotions this year than ever in my life.  I at once felt sad and ashamed to be in such a financial mess.  This wasn't the way I'd planned my life or what I'd pictured.  I pictured one of us having a degree before the kids arrived.  We were on track and then....life happened.  I was pregnant and we needed money so Mr. Valentine went back to work, putting school on hold once again.  Now, he's back in college and working full time with one year to go.  Then, I'd like to move nearer to my family.  I would welcome warmer weather and a new town to explore. 

This isn't to say I'm not thankful or humble about it all.  I felt blessed to even have a home and food to eat.  IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE.  And I know this.  That's what scares me and makes me feel for those in this sort of situation and causes me to want to sort out my life and try to find myself and figure out where I need to be.

I'm fairly certain my husband still loves me after the mess we've been through together. We've learned as we've lived. We're working through tough times as any couple does. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes we're depressed, sometimes we're angry at each other. Sometimes we don't like each other very much. But most of the time we're just HELLA TIRED. We haven't been on a date in over a year.  But we’re usually able to hang in there for the kids, even on days when we'd really rather check out.

When I was growing up I wanted to be a dental hygienist. Then my real dad told me he didn't have the money to send me to college like he always said he would. So instead, I got married at 18, divorced at 20 and moved back in with my mom and stepfather. Then I met a very controlling Filipino guy who was very abusive and downright mean. My mind was very messed up during those two years and I partied a lot. I was in college during this time.  I'm the poster child for "you should have studied in college and not drank those years away."

Then, I met my husband, joined the LDS church, stopped drinking and life seemed okay for a while. I was baptized, we married 6 months later, and were sealed after I'd been a member for a year.  Recently, after much soul searching we have entered "inactive" status with the LDS church, not to go sin or because we are heathens but because we feel there are some important issues the church is not addressing with regards to their history and political involvement. 

I hope to heal from all the drama of the last many years and issues from childhood and truly become a better person.  Now I'm a stay at home mother with nary a moment to think straight. But I'm smart and funny and when I'm not impersonating a robot in order to get everything done each day for the kids and husband, I enjoy blogging, twitter and a good meal that I don't have to cook.